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A flurry of emotional breakdowns

Did you every have one of those nights where you couldn't sleep. I certainly wasn't tired last night, and it wasn't even that I was restless or tossing and turning around. I just, didn't want to sleep. I didn't have any desire to close my eyes, and I guess I am paying for that this morning with a mental breakdown.

Today's overall feelings are as such
- I hate my job
- I don't have enough money to do the things I want to do
- Future job prospects do not interest me


I have done a good job recently of keeping my posts factual and enjoyable, but I guess a digression or two is not horrible.

I spent a lot of time looking at webpages of jobs and things, and the underlying problem is that I don't know what I want to do; what I want to be. Every job I look at seems so dull.

I think I could be happy if I was part of something military based (for excitement) and I would want to be involved with computers and not programming. Pete says that a "Software Engineer" would be a step in the right direction because they work above programming. That wouldn't be too bad in my opinion.

I feel like I have a strong desire to create, but not by coding, rather by conceptualizing. I am a much more abstract thinker. In my methodology it doesn't matter which search algorithm you use, but rather that it works.

Begrudgingly I am going to apply to several jobs in the Dayton Area after I finish touching up my resume (critiques welcome), and at least see how far that gets me. My fall back plan is to stay at Moto and get a masters (which is it's own delima).

Please, someone give some good advice?

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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on January 3, 2005 12:25 PM.

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