Abode of Clarus

I just had a hour long meeting today about how to have fun. This was not a game, or even a fun activity, but an actual sit down with upper management and talk about how to have more fun in the work place.

Yes you are looking at it right. I have created a coaster worthy of a king out of nothing but duct tape and a used styrophome cup. It may be my greatest invention yet. It retains all condensation in a non-staining spot on my desk, while also keeping that ever so popular 'geeky' look provided by the shimmer of duct tape.

I challenge anyone to best me in a construction contest of duct-tape office goodies!

WHen you happen to trangress into the real world and find youself stuck in a cubicle, it isn't as all bad as you may think it is. First, cubicles provide just the appropriate level of privacy to allow you to surf the internet at you leisure as well as talk to friends. Secondly, let us not forget the wonderful meetings that allow you to 'zone out' for hours at a time, and the simple pleasures of long lunch breaks. However, sometimes a morose feeling of ineptitude might happen to creep in, but upon that, I have devised a solution to the small humps of everyday life; the water cup.

A simple 9 oz. beverage container can provied hours of entertainment. Not only does it contain the sustanance of life, but it also can be chugged and refiled a the water fountain which is 50 yards away at any time! And lest we not forget the ancillary benifet of the bathroom breaks.

So there you have it, a simple plan of ellegance for surviving the corporate world.

I sit here at work, and I'm trying to start a Union. I think work would be better if we were all unionized, what with strikes and all. It turns out, to no real surprise, that my coworkers are total pussies. They seem uninterested in having ties to such a great orginization such as my own, so we have decided to reach out to other companies to recruit.

Join the local 1337!

Again, I am forced to be compleatly vague here in an attempt to prevent damage. At any point, please feel free to IM me or e-mail me to ask some questions.

Today, as some of you may know, was a big determinate day for me. And I have recieved word regarding that. Without going into too much detail, everything has been changed AND pushed back another week. So, all hope is not lost, but hope for a resolution by this weekend... impossible.

It's time for another installment of why I am unfit for my position.

Today I was asked to update a webpage in lieu of my former collegue.

So, I present this task to you. Update a webpage without knowing the ftp server address, login name, or password.

I keep pacing back and forth trying to calm myself down...

Well, I guess it is time to post an update that the world saw coming. Starting July 8th I will no longer be employed with Moto Franchise Corp. in Dayton, Ohio. The time has come to jump ship and try something new.

Although not entirely finalized yet (no start date until you pass your drug test), I am planning to begin employment at ******'s plant at Ridley Park, PA as early as July 18th. This means I will be moving to the Philadelphia area around the beginnig of July in hopes to have a home before I start work.

Well, I know you have all been in silent anticipation about my new job. For the very least I know that you have all been silent, and I'll just assume that it is because of the anticipation.

Work is a black and white, night and day difference compared to MFC. I'm not going to say that it is a bad thing right now, because I am still gathering some information about it, but it is going to take a lot of adjustment to get used to the aspects of this company.

It has come to my attention that the blogging community has recived excessive flak from employers about disclosing company information. (thanks ISSF) So my employer (******) is not on this web page.

:: insert disclaimer here ::

So apparently some of the recent hires in the past have had a problem about being unproductive. That's forseeable, because this company is very slow... for example taking 4 days to even start to get me login accounts for the networks that I would be using. Ok... crappy and inefficient, but ok.

I know it might seem like a subject that I am harping on, but the dress code of this company still strikes me as rather odd. I can understand having the people at my level as well as the engineers in slacks and polo shirts; hell, maybe even jeans on casual friday. There isn't a visual presence that really exists outside of our company too frequently. We're behind locked gates... who is going to come visit?

Maybe it's the blue-collar in me, but I do feel a little bit of pride when I see a picture like this on a news web page, talking about the relief effort in New Orleans.

Maybe I didn't help build that one, but I could have.

(btw: that's a MH-47 Chinook... that's what I work on)

Well it's nothing that extravagant, but we got new phones today at work. the Cisco VOIP 7940 Series phones. They're not too bad. Lots of doo-dads and gadget buttons to press.

They allow you to use a LDAP directory on the phone face, as well as just haveing a flat out awesome display to show you everything.

whatever... i'm bored... get off my case

ashadowcast: would you slit your wrists so i could get out of work?
Clarus: i would get out of work too, wouldn't i
ashadowcast: didn't even think of that
ashadowcast: how selfish of me
ashadowcast: you do it yet?
Clarus: SOLD!
ashadowcast: how much blood is there? do i have to use a sick day?
Clarus: at least 2
ashadowcast: oh man, you did a good job
ashadowcast: you did it the wrong way, right? so they'll be able to sew it up, and we can go bowling?
Clarus: :: pass out ::
ashadowcast: shit
ashadowcast: *nudge*
ashadowcast: nothing?
ashadowcast: ok, i'll be right there
Clarus: yea that was a funny joke
Clarus: remember the time you told me to slit my wrists
Clarus: and i killed myself
ashadowcast: that's good comedy

It's the little things that'll make a day much better than the last. It's just a stupid piece of paper, but if people are willing to ask for it, and/or go through the effort to pay for and make me one, well then maybe i'm not a complete black hole on the working class of society!

Well, it is official; I am starting a new job. Some of you may find this as old news, but I've realized there are a lot of people out there that don't know. I hesitated mentioning it before I had more information about my new position. Anyway, starting January 5th, I will be leaving Boeing SM&P and will be working as an Application Analyst for Boeing's UK TLCS program. Sure it's a bunch of acronyms that I'm sure you don't know, and really wouldn't mean much if I explained it to you.

So I haven’t really made it too public, because I wanted to make sure I had all the details worked out before hand. So I’m returning from the UK this weekend (late Sunday actually). I have a few weeks to get things in order, take a business trip to St. Louis, and then move my life into storage before I move back to the UK. The current plan is to have me stationed in the UK from May 1st till the end of the summer. I could come home as early as August or as late as November depending on how things work. I’m thinking that we are looking to be around mid September, but I might stay an extra week or two vacationing.

When I first attempted to describe my job it came out something like this:
"Well I go abroad to the UK to the users and discuss the tool set with them, understand how it works and then take their complaints, bugs, and suggestions and bring them back to the programmers for working." It didn't take me long to realize that my job sounded strangely familiar.

"Well, look, I already told you. I deal with the goddamn customers so
the engineers don't have to!! I have people skills!! I am good at
dealing with people!!! Can't you understand that?!? WHAT THE HELL IS
WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!!!!!!!"

I had a moment of clarity today as I was enjoying my mid afternoon constitutional around the campus. I think my role has evolved into something a little more exciting.