Abode of Clarus

The Wonka-Mobile pwnz j--

I'm not normally one for cute fuzzy bunnies, but this comic does a great job of poking fun at nerds, politics, and almost every comic that I read (from megatokyo to little gamers).

Ole' Dirty Bastard has passed away. His lyrical prowess will be missed as much as his love of the asiatic peoples.

SAIYONARA BITCHES!

Horray for doing the majority of your Christmas shopping in 10 minutes on Amazon.com. The internet is teh 0wnz0r!

I ran across this a little while ago and haven't gotten around to posting it. "The 100 things I would do if I was an Evil Overlord." It gave me a good chuckle, and I debated doing something with the wealth of information it provided, a quote generator or something. That is what lead to me starting my quote generator on the right. It's from my collection of quotes, but they don't seem to fit this site too well. I think instead of having all of my quotes on there, I would rather just pick a few each day that fit this site and transfer them on. input?

Why does the world care if certain individuals in prison go on a hunger strike In my opinion, if you are stupid enough to stop eating, you're stupid enough to let yourself die. Besides, as long as your drinking water you'll live for a damn long time and only do permanant damage to your liver, which won't start acting up for at least a decade. So, to all of your political protesters out there who feel that not eating is a way to get your point across, Congradulations, you're even more dumb than people on diets.

That is all.

clarus: do YOU love me? is that where this is going? cause I couldn't take that right now...

Ms. Mush: i dont love you in the romantic sense, no. i have a shitload of faith in you. and i love you like a friend. otherwise i wouldnt be calling you an idiot.

Thanx, dear...

I just thought it was about time I published my DVD collection. I feel that it's a good example of me as a person, what I like, my views on women.

Enjoy reading it, sorry, no loaners.

Quote from Resident Evil (approx.):

"They become reanimated possessing only the most basic of needs"
"yea? what's that"
":: very scary voice :: The Need.. to Feed!"

Now think about it; Darwanism and whatnot. Feeding is not the most basic of needs. You know what it is?...

Excerpts from Endorphins Q&A:

Yes, it has been proven true (well, merly quoted off of another page on the internet. Sex is great! You heard it here first remember...

Well, it has finially happened. Microsoft has released a parents guide to internet languages so they can better understand their child's communications.

I am absolutly flabergasted and amazingly enjoyed at the same time.

God bless the internet!

It was while I was on the phone.. it more or less slipped out, but I feel it is even worthy of discussion.

"I wanna date a pet rock; one that's really good at giving blowjobs."

:: talk amongst yourselves ::

I unearthed a new comic today that I have been spending some time reading. By 'spending some time reading' i mean, it is mostly all i have done at work today. It's called Questionable Content.

It centers around a scrawny emo kid with horrible confidence with girls, and ends up living with a friend who has her apartment burnt down. The story isn't much for drama, and the artwork isn't great either. It does have, however, a good 'joke a day' format much like the early Megatokyo comics or even on par with the Penny Arcade jokes.

It appealed to me mostly because of its similarities to the good old highschool days and a few other facets of my history. It's good for a laugh if you have the desire, and they read rather quickly.

I remember back in the day when Chris Calvi showed me the "Jive server," a short little e-mail forwarding service that would translate your e-mails into jive, compleate with the sweet sweet whatamellon.

A friend at Lehigh showed me the link for another type of them, called Gizoogle. Check out this translation of one of my previous articles.

"My Gangsta

As some of you may knizzow, mah sista is currently ballin' feel'n of angst n outrage in tha african area (Rwanda) . Aint no stoppin' this shit nigga. I poser follow too closely what she does, coz it is not only very steppin' but ratha bustin' ta an engine? cuz Im tha Double O G. But here's some proof tizzy mah killa isn't dead yet, if only they were perpetratin' up a current nigga ta prove tha date of tha photograph fo all my homies in the pen"

Ahh good times....

This was a topic on slashdot yesterday, but after reading response after response on it, I still can't help but just laugh at it. It is an article about a multiple stabbing in King of Prussia a few days ago.

The article can be found here.

The memorable quote:
"I mean, you have many, many stab wounds and those 'Dungeons and Dragons' fantasy games involve swords and knives and daggers and things of that nature. There may be a connection but I can’t say for sure.”

In my lax work atmosphere, I have uncovered another comic strip worth wasting time in the morning with.

It is called Yirmumah. I was first linked to it with the promise of Things not to Say to Darth Vader at the Imperial Water Cooler.

It's good for a quick laugh.

I noticed two great articles today on the advances of contact lenses. The first is on Slashdot regarding a new contact lense that Nike is developing. They're UV blocking and also create a "black and white world" where you only see color on a sports specific object. (the yellow of a tennis ball or the red of a baseball seam) That's pretty crazy.

Today, I took the bold step into getting a passport. Granted, it's not that big of a deal, but it was fun (and Expensive!) none the less.

So if anyone wants to abduct me across the national borders, it's now legal to do so.

Yesterday a large package arrived at my door step... what could it be?

::zoidberg::
Perhaps, gifts?!?
WHAT'S IN THE BOX!!!
::/zoidberg::

Dear Elliot,

Congradulations, you have won. I have purchased a car that is slower than yours. It lacks the in dash CD changer, the fresh coat of paint, and the 0-60 time. I don't have a 6th gear, and my car is bigger, longer, and heavier than yours.

I'll buy you a beer, cause you've won... but I'm certainly the winner in my mind.

That's right, that's big stu vance, and DDR. A great Pre-New Year's Eve drinking and dancing night!

Hey guys, another comic I can recommend for you. Chugworth Academy. It's got a little bit of nerd humor, but mostly it's just good old fashioned sex humor. There is a warning on the main page about it being for a mature audience, and I'd sort of agree for a little bit. So it's NSFW, although 9 times out of 10 it's just off colored. The artwork, although a little "teeny bopper in short skirt", is still rather good if you ask me.

If anyone reads this let me know, It's no Applegeeks or Ctrl-Alt-Del, but it's damn good.

ashadowcast: how's monday treatin' ya?
clarus: rather well
clarus: i'm ambivolent to everything
ashadowcast: splendid
clarus: and yourself?
ashadowcast: i've slipped into the seventh circle of hell
ashadowcast: but otherwise, not bad

I.like(bigButts) && I.canLie(false);
otherBrothers.canDeny(false);
when (girl.walksIn()){
if (girl.hasIttyBittyWaist() && roundThing.getLocation()==your.FACE){
you.getSprung();
}
}

So, this may look like a normal sheet on a door message, but in all actuality it's got a good story to go along with it.

I went over to the Bulgarian's house in Atlantic City and was presented by a problem, how to write a poem for, and I quote...

"someone who is, like, really nice to you, and well, sort of is nice too, and makes you happy and stuff."

So anyway, I wrote a poem after much deliberation. I eventually found that the method of presentation for this poem was as you see, on the front door as a large sheet.

The poem reads:

If you did not get a chance to see the new Southpark, go download it, watch the re-run, or by any other means watch it. The greatest WoW Parody of all time...

"You just got pwned!"

Is everyone else as absolutely stoked to see TMNT as I am? The only thing I could see as being a let down are the voices. Splinter’s doesn’t seem to be too “sensei”-like. It seems more like a kid trying very hard to sound gruff. But anyway… very excited.

Every time I see the trailers or even just movie posters tough, I’m reminded of how there was the on going battle in school. Who would win in a fight; a TMNT (there was an argument on who would be the more challenging adversary) or Mega Man? It’s a good question…

At first sight it looks as if I went to see James play in a roller hockey game, doesn't it?

I've decided to undertake a massive nerd pilgrimage. I've acquired some new software that works on my laptop that will make it easy and awesome to work on a neglected collection of comics from my youth.

:: Standard GTalk conversation ::

Me: so do you think the term "baby maker" should be plural? or is the singular entity representative of the pair

James: they do not work independently
its a solitary baby maker

Well Bob, you wanted a challenge, so here it goes.
It is a well known fact that starting in the early 70s, NHL players would stop shaving during the playoffs as good luck charm. This quickly grew into a fad that the fans started partaking in, to wish their team good luck.

I have begun to cheer on the Philadelphia Flyers as they tackle Washington in the first round of the playoffs. It's been about 4 years since I attempted to grow out a beard... little did I know what I was getting myself into when I decided not to shave.
[This is after 5 days of playoffs]